


Dreams and Memories

by sdd89



Series: Bonding Through Music [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Loss, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ghost Crew - Freeform, Kanera Trope-Athon, Loss of Parent(s), Missing Loved Ones, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood, Music, Nightmares, Parenthood, Relationship(s), Remembering Loved Ones, Tumblr Prompt, Twi’lek, kanera - Freeform, kanera 2k17, loss of partner, lullaby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sdd89/pseuds/sdd89
Summary: Chapter 1 - Kanan comforts Hera with a song from her childhood.Tumblr prompt - bed sharing (from Kanera Trope-athon 2017)Chapter 2 - Hera revisits the song that gave her comfort in the past.





	1. Hera and Kanan

Hera knew she was dreaming and fought to wake up. She was dreaming of home. There were flames everywhere and she was trapped in her father's office. In the dream, the house looked the way it had when she was a child. There was no hint that the Empire had ever taken up residence there. In a different part of her mind, the one that knew she was dreaming, she remembered that home was gone. She'd had to destroy it. 

Kanan woke with a start. Hera was lying asleep next to him, but she was far from peaceful. Her hand had hit out and slapped against his bare chest, rousing him instantly. This was a semi-regular occurrence and Kanan knew the cause. As a rule, Hera never liked to go too in depth with her personal thoughts and feelings. However, after the fifth or sixth time she'd woken him like this, with some sort of unconscious physical outburst, Kanan had demanded to know what she was dreaming about. The dreams always happened in different places, but she was always trapped somewhere and close to death. He knew that more recently she'd been returning in dreams to her childhood home on Ryloth. Ever since she'd had to sacrifice it, she'd dreamt that she was stuck in the explosion that had destroyed her house. 

Hera felt like she was swimming. She was fighting to surface from the horrifying dream. She knew she couldn't die, she wasn't really there, but the sights and sounds were enough to terrify her. She felt something knock her hand and tried to grasp it in the hope that it would pull her back to reality. 

Kanan held Hera's hand. He knew that if he shook her awake she'd come back to consciousness in a panic. It had happened before and he wanted to avoid it. He lay as still as possible, holding her small balled fist in his own, and began to hum her favourite song. It was a Rylothian folk song that he'd never been able to learn the words to but she liked to hear it, with or without words, because it reminded her of her mother. 

Hera knew she was close to waking. She unclenched her fist and grasped the hand that was holding her own. When she woke she'd see her mother. She broke the surface of her unconsciousness and opened her eyes. Kanan was facing her, almost touching her nose with his own. He was humming tunelessly and it brought tears to her eyes. It was the song her mother had sung to her as a child whenever they were going to be apart for any length of time. It was a song of remembrance. Hera cried for her mother, for Kanan, and for herself. She cried for everything that they'd been through, and out of relief that he was still there with her. 

Kanan reached up with his free hand and wiped a tear from Hera's face. He didn't need to say anything, and he knew she wouldn't speak either. He stopped humming and closed the gap between his forehead and hers. He wasn't sure if it was the song, his touch, or her own strength that had brought her out of the dream, but he knew in that moment that he'd be there every time it happened again going forward, for as long as he could.


	2. Hera and Jacen

Hera stood over the cradle in her and Jacen’s room at the Resistance base. The little boy never could fall asleep properly away from the Ghost. It was as though he only felt safe on the ship. It was fitting, she thought, that her baby was so new to the world and yet, he already felt secure up there in the sky where she had always felt at home herself. 

Tears were streaming from his eyes as he bawled at nothing in particular. She knew he wasn’t hungry or uncomfortable in any way. He just couldn’t fall asleep. “Me either”, she said as she gently cupped his hot, wet cheek. “If only your father were here little one. He used to hum me a lullaby that...”. 

Hera trailed off. She had tried a few times to hum the old folk song to her son when he couldn’t settle, but she never got past the first few lines before becoming overwhelmed. She had yet to sing him a full lullaby, never mind one that had actually had any comforting effect on him.

Memories of Kanan came rushing back and the weight of her loss became so unbearable that she struggled to stay upright and she had to grasp the cradle tightly. None of her colleagues would ever see her like this. To them, General Syndulla was a force to be reckoned with. Jacen saw, but he wasn’t old enough to understand her pain yet. In order to get herself under control, Hera picked her baby up and began to pace around the room, rocking him as she went. 

After several minutes of pacing, and with Jacen no calmer, Hera decided she had had enough. Tonight was the night she would be brave. She would put her sadness aside because Jacen needed her to. She began by humming under her breath, barely audible. The baby noticed straight away, and locked eyes with her, becoming quieter instantly. No, they weren’t Kanan’s features exactly, but there was something so familiar about the expression on Jacen’s face that Hera was forced to stop humming so she could choke back a sob. 

Closing her own eyes and taking a deep breath she started again. Jacen was still gurgling unhappily, but not screaming. Hera felt the words and the melody rushing back to her, and tried to block out the memory of Kanan’s voice humming to her when she’d had a nightmare. She wanted to take control of what this song meant to her. It was going to be positive from now on. It would comfort her son the way it had comforted her when she was a child. 

Hera was so focused on not becoming overwhelmed, it took her a minute to realise that Jacen was no longer crying. She opened her eyes to see her son staring up at her, transfixed. That was all the encouragement she needed to keep going, and little by little it became easier.

Soon enough, Jacen’s eyes began to droop and he nodded off to the sound of the lullaby. Hera placed him gently in his cradle but didn’t stop singing. She continued to hum quietly and as she got into her own bed and Jacen fell into a deeper sleep. She was exhausted, but realised with some surprise that she felt less sad as she finally stopped humming. She had needed to hear the song as much as Jacen had, perhaps even more so. Her last thought before drifting off was that although the song wasn’t significant to him yet, she’d make sure that in time he’d understand its importance.


End file.
